Why couldn’t the series end on a high note? Did Saw VI need a cliffhanger? Did that film know how lucky it was to surface the bowels of Saw V? The producers clearly didn’t, otherwise they wouldn’t have kamikazed their own franchise with Saw 3D. This is the worst Saw film I’ve seen by far and Saw X will have to get a lot wrong to change that.

John Kramer’s widow Jill Tuck (Betsy Russell) approaches Detective Matt Gibson (Chad Donella) offering the identity of Jigsaw’s protégé in exchange for protection and immunity. Meanwhile, Mark Hoffman (Costas Mandylor) captures Bobby Dagen (Sean Patrick Flanery), a self-help guru who achieved fame and fortune by claiming to be a Jigsaw survivor, and forces him to take a test that John Kramer himself would approve.

The Characters

Mark Hoffman and Jill Tuck are the only principle characters standing. While it would be understandable for Saw 3D (or The Final Chapter as it was called) to introduce some new supporting characters, creating a brand-new protagonist exclusively for the final instalment is a terrible choice.

Yes, Cary Elwes does reprise his role as Doctor Gordon, showing us what became of him only moments after the ending of the first film, but he’s not onscreen for 10 minutes. He’s more of a cameo than an active character.

Centering the narrative on Hoffman would’ve been a better choice. He was essentially the protagonist of Saw VI, it would’ve made sense for him to resume that position in the follow-up. Instead, Hoffman is demoted to the mysterious mastermind he was in Saw IV and V while Matt Gibson, who we have never met, is thrust centre-stage.  

This is the final film. There’s no time to get us to care about a brand-new character. Placing Hoffman in the shadows made sense in the earlier films because officers and detectives who we knew and liked were following his tracks. Inter-cut with Bobby’s test and Gibson’s hunt is basically a final battle between Hoffman and Jill, since the latter has revealed the former to the authorities. That story should be the core of the film. Just like Saw V, The Final Chapter has a good idea that’s diluted by two others. Jill and Hoffman’s confrontation is treated like the C Plot when it should be the A Plot.

The Final Chapter wants to have its cake and eat it by merging two opposing plots. Gibson’s investigation doesn’t lead him to Bobby’s whereabouts until the very end. For most of the film he’s investigating a totally separate trap involving some white supremacists (one of who is played by Linkin Park vocalist Chester Bennington of all people).

Bobby’s plot is an interesting one that would make for a great standalone film, one focused solely on Jisgaw’s prisoners. His plot actually features the best sequence in the film.

The Horror

Surprise surprise, apart from a jumpscare or two, Saw 3D is another gorefest. However, some of the gore scenes might be the most disgusting and creative in the entire series.

The ‘Love Triangle’ trap at the beginning is pathetically executed as well as pointless. The sequence involving Chester Bennington and his crew however, is excruciatingly inventive and would’ve no doubt looked amazing in 3D.

All the trap scenes provide their fair share of blood and guts but one.

In the ‘Hangman’s Noose’ sequence, Bobby stands in a hallway where almost all the floorboards are gone. Only a few beams and planks stand between him and a seven-foot drop. At the other end of the hallway is his friend Cale (Dean Armstrong). He is attached to the ceiling with a noose; he will hang if he falls off any of the protruding planks. Additionally, he’s locked in a helmet with no visor or eye holes, rendering him blind. Bobby has a minute to get to Cale and remove the helmet. He gets as close as he can to his friend without falling, having to guide him with his voice.

No blood. No gore. No threat of dismemberment, just of immediate hanging. The tension in this scene is on par with the reverse bear-trap scene in the original. You are tense with every step Cale takes, knowing that a single step is all it’ll take to kill him. This scene is the golden needle in the manure-stained haystack that is the film.

Saw 3D may be the reason I only recommend the first Saw to others, knowing that the whole series, even with its peaks, leads to this. And I haven’t even bothered lambasting the film’s pretentious ineptitude in introducing Doctor Gordon as Jigsaw’s third protégé. Spoilers I guess.

I like to think it can’t get any worse than this.

I give Saw 3D a monstrous 3 out of 10.